Fear Management
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. Dr. David M. Burns.
Fear will cripple the soul, wound the spirit, and paralyze the flesh. One of my greatest enemies in sobriety, spirituality growth, and life is fear. This enemy is cleaver and cunning disguising itself in various ways. Fear will masquerade as reality when there is nothing real to fear. When I began to realize fear in various forms stopped my forward progress and kept me bound to the past I was one-step closer to freedom. The bible tells us truth sets us free and the truth is in most cases there is nothing to fear.
When is the last time you faced a mountain lion, a bear, a snake, or a robber with a gun? There are realistic fears and unrealistic fears. I personally don’t have a problem with being afraid of a mountain lion or snake. The fears, which give me the most problems, are ones I invent and the one I struggle with the most is failure, which translates into approval. I hunger for approval. More than any other fear the fear of someone not approving of my looks, my words and my actions stand out more than any other. In order to move on with my life I had to come to terms with unrealistic fears.
I was criticized by my dad for just about everything I did. I felt like I was never good enough. I remember being called stupid many times. I always felt like I had to prove I wasn’t stupid. I don’t think I ever accomplished this task but all through life I have been addicted to others approval. After realizing I didn’t have to have others approval in order to feel good about who I was I finally pulled the root that grew the tree for fear in my life.
I thought I had to earn God’s approval. I knew Jesus died for my failures and sins but I had no idea how to make God happy. I thought if got rid of every single sin in my life God would smile down on me and give my all I every wanted out of life. This idea of perfectionism in God’s eyes drove me insane. The harder I tried to get God approval the more I failed. I might manage to put a few things a side for a short period but my failure to meet my self-imposed goals of perfection always failed. When addiction took hold of my life I was doomed. Fear of disapproval from others and God lead me to the point where I just gave up. I will never be good enough for God so why even try. I knew the word grace but I had no idea what it really meant.
Grace, the grace of God means I don’t have to earn God’s approval. Wow, you have to be kidding. I don’t have to be good enough for God to love me. There is absolutely nothing I can do earn His love. He loved me unconditionally because of Jesus death, resurrection, and ascension unto His Father. Man, I had a hard time getting this concept through my head. You mean to tell mean I don’t have to be perfect in order for God to approve of me. Well, that is exactly what the bible tells us. The bible tells us we were failures in the sight of God the Father but God the Father loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus to forgive our failures and make us perfect in God’s sight. Someone said told me that when God looks at my failures all He sees is the blood of Jesus. I can really get into this because I know from experience I can never reach perfection in my spiritual life.
There is no need to fear disapproval from God or others because my goodness is all wrapped up in what Jesus did, not what I can do.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I have a license to do what ever I want. What it does mean is because of Grace I have a chance to change my behavior because He loved me enough to die for me. The reason I want to put away those things that keep me from God is love not approval.
Today I still struggle with approval addition. I have remind myself, almost daily, that I am completely forgiven for all my failures, past, present and future because of what Christ did on the cross. When I do apply this to my life I forget the past, even if the past is two hours ago, and move on.
Through the years, the lessons have been extremely hard and forgetting the past seemed impossible. I have learned I will have consequence to my behavior. If I think about taking a drink or drug, I am able to think it all the way through. I know if I take the first drink or drug the next thing to happen will be jail. I know I will get extremely insane and do something to cause the police to lock me up. I think about the DT’s and the pain of withdrawal. I remember the pain I will cause me wife. I don’t want to go through another divorce. When I think the first drink all the way through I easily come to conclusion a drink will only make things worse.
When someone does something I don’t like I go through the process of forgiveness I remember what Christ did for me. I prayer for the person who has said or done something I didn’t like. It helps; it really helps to ask God to bless the person who has hurt you. Try it and you will find out I am telling the truth. Another thing I practice is admitting when I am wrong. If I hurt someone, I do my best to make amends as quickly as possible. I ask them to forgive me and then it is there choice. After I complete the process I press on towards prize with a clean heart towards myself, others and God. I want to live a triumphant life in Jesus and I know I can. I do not ever have to be defeated again.
Dr Bob Wilkerson is founder of Challenger Christian Ministries, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping others recover from life altering circumstances. Dr. Bob is a motivational speaker with true life story of God’s power to change any individuals life. If your Church or organization is looking for a dynamic speaker please email him today. challenger7777@gmail.com
Tags: faith, motivation, self help