For The Newly Widowed - 8 Things To Remember Not To Forget
For a long time after you bury your husband, you newly widowed, will be what I call, numb and dumb. But, I am here to tell you, you will get through. Here are 8 things you need to remember not to forget:
1. Don’t forget to remember to write things down and check them off after you have completed each task. Carry a pen and notebook everywhere you go. Your thoughts will be jumbled at this time worrying did you write a thank-you note to your next-door neighbor, a check to the funeral parlor, or wonder if you made a bank deposit. Make that notebook your safe place to stash all cares and woes, and everything important as you go about your new daily life, without Him. From grocery list to list of appointments, and scribbling deep dark secrets on lined paper, maintaining information in one secure location will help you maintain focus, and distract you from thinking sad thoughts. One more thing, don’t forget to remember to date each page.
2. Don’t forget to remember to take care of you. Brush your teeth, wash your face, comb your hair, and while you are at it, paint your lips rosy red. I know it sounds easy, but for you, newly widowed, life is a challenge, temporarily, of course.
3. Don’t forget to remember to pay the utility bill, the rent/mortgage. These are important bills that must not be left to sit in limbo while you process your grief. If there is a financial problem, make contact with the utility company, the lender, the landlord. Work to resolve the situation best you can, soon as practical.
4. Don’t forget to remember to feed your children, even if it is cold cereal and milk for supper. Let them know everything will be all right. Tuck them in at night. Hold them. Hug them. Say words, “I love you” at least once a day. Your children may not feel like talking at this time, but it is important to keep lines of communication open. Let them know you are there for them.
5. If your grief pain persists, don’t forget to remember to reach out and touch someone. Contact your rabbi, your priest, your family doctor; join a bereavement group. Most times all the newly widowed needs is an ear to listen to our terrible horrible ugly day.
6. Don’t forget to remember to look at the big picture. Think Mother Nature. You newly widowed, need only to look out your window for inspiration to gain what I call mourning joy. See how trees reach for the sky?
7. Don’t forget to remember Him. He was your lover, your mentor, your knight in shining armor. It is okay to keep Him in your thoughts.
8. Remember to never forget, grief is a tunnel. Can’t go around it, can’t go over it, you just gotta go through it. Life as you know it, newly widowed, is changed forever. But if you remember to not forget my 8 things outlined here, you will get through.
You have permission to contact Linda Della Donna for a copy of her free ebook, “Treasury of Quotations - For Widows Only” at littleredmailbox@aol.com Be sure to visit her blog, http://www.griefcase.blogspot.com to learn more about her writing and how she supports new widows through the grief process.
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